Dissonance

10/11/2016

In speaking about Water by the Spoonful, playwright Quiara Alegria Hudes said, “A lot of the piece grapples with harmony and discord.” Indeed, Yaz spends much of scene 3 talking about dissonance and when she first noticed dissonance in music.

What do you remember as your first impactful experience with dissonance?

For our purposes, this is not musical dissonance, but personal/family dissonance—which is also something this play grapples with.

Respond to this post with a comment, detailing an impactful experience with dissonance in your life.

25 Comments

Jada Edson

10/11/2016 05:18:03 am

My first time i realize dissonance was when I was in 1st grade and i saw my parents argue for the first time. Not just disagree, but really argue. Before then i had never really seen my parents as anything else but calm. And in that moment i felt a fear of them.

Claire Decaudin

10/11/2016 05:18:22 am

The time when my father was so happy to have dogs since he was a young boy in Paris and all he wanted was to have dogs to have fun with him while he was at home rather than work. One days I was waking up and hearing my father crying over how he wished he no longer wanted anything to do with anyone - especially with the dogs. My father doesn't cry except he cried that day.

Brianna Collins

10/11/2016 05:18:40 am

One time in first gradeI was shopping with my mom and I saw a toy I really wanted and I kept asking for it and my mom got so frustrated she yelled loud at me and it was unusual and shocking because my mom never yells. That;s just not something she does.

Sylvia Smith

10/11/2016 05:19:23 am

The first time I experienced dissonance would have to be when I was four and in preschool. My favourite teacher's name was Miss Lisa and she was the nicest teacher in the building and all of the kids loved her. She would help us whenever we needed anything and was always very supportive and listened to our childish rants. One day, during nap time I had to go to the bathroom so I got up while she was out of the room and went. When I came back into the room she freaked out at me for getting up and leaving and it scared me a lot since she was usually so nice.

Brianne Kelly

10/11/2016 05:19:37 am

For me, my first memory of dissonance happened on the school bus. My childhood best friend Allison and I were talking about the weather, when suddenly the conversation shifted. We began arguing about which mother was correct about the weather, when in reality both of our mothers were correct. I had never fought with a friend before, and this confrontation showed me the unfortunately negative sides of friendship. My first experience with dissonance was a learning experience from which I now understand that some arguing is okay, as long as it resolves!

Jacob Justice

10/11/2016 05:19:52 am

I think the first time i saw dissonance was the first time I saw my grandfather yell. He is such a quiet man, one day we were down at my great grandmother's house and i dont remember the conversation exactly but i remember that he suddenly became very animated and started raising his voice. It was a strange experience seeing my grandfather change so suddenly and I saw him in a new light after that.

Kourtney Sloan

10/11/2016 05:20:47 am

The first experience with dissonance that I remember was when I was in intermediate school when I came home and said I wanted to be a writer. It was that day when I had been praised for my skills by my teacher and decided to tell my parents my wishes. I had always believed that they would be supportive, so I had no fears of telling them at the time. But their reaction to my choice has stuck with me. At first, they hadn't said anything, there was just this look of disappointment, that their daughter who they thought would amount to so much had chosen to become a writer. For a while, they tried to support it by saying I could write on the side, but needed to pick a different career path. It was support with a twist, something my parents had promised they would never do. Now, they aren't as forward about it as they used to be, but when I talk about writing, I still get this feeling of dissonance that I first felt when I was ten.

Dalton Dietrich

10/11/2016 05:21:29 am

I remember when I was in 3rd grade, I was on the playground with my friends t the time, and until this point i had never fought with any friends, verbal or physical, but then one of my friends called me a name that was something stupid i don't remember, but then I called him the same word back and then the kid took a basketball and threw it straight at my face, hitting me in the forehead and knocking me over onto the pavement. This was the only physical confrontation i ever had in school.

James Conaway

10/11/2016 05:21:39 am

My parents divorced when I was very young, so growing up in that environment was normal to me because I wasn't used to anything else. Yet when I got older in middle school and beyond, disagreements between my parents became more noticeable to me and I started feeling like the middle man in-between them. Not that my parents were using me by any means, but having two sides pulling at you is a tough thing for a kid of that age. I think that forced me to grow up and deal with life a bit. It was probably my first experience with real conflict.

Madison M

10/11/2016 05:21:49 am

The first time I experienced dissonance was one of the first times I saw my mom cry. My mom is a very strong woman and very pushy but not a bad pushy, a pushy like she's pushing me to be better and whatnot. Anyway. She was always very strong so seeing her cry was a shock that I still think about.

Haley Stroup

10/11/2016 05:22:17 am

I have many different experiences with dissonance. The very first experience though that I remember is from when I was around the age of 7 I believe(?). Around this time, It was just me and my brother with my parents. I was still an extremely bratty child because I typically got everything I wanted. So on my brother's birthday, I saw him opening presents and immediately getting mad and frustrated because I wanted presents too. So I kept complaining how I didn't get any presents, and my parents started yelling at me (which makes total sense). I didn't get any presents that day, and that was the first time I recall my parents yelling at me.

Quiara Goggans

10/11/2016 05:22:34 am

I remember dealing with dissonance last summer when my dog was about to die. It was very chaotic because she had cancer and my family couldn't decide whether to wait it out or put her down early. We eventually decided to wait it out just so we could have more time with her.

Cassidy Thomas

10/11/2016 05:22:58 am

A moment in my life when there was an example of dissonance would maybe be when my brother pushed me down in the lake. We usually get along very well and earlier in the day we were getting along great and hung out a lot. Something I think happened to him and he just let it out on me and literally knocked me down under the water. I was like 11 and he was 16 and I started crying right away and we got in a huge fight.

Kasey Seay

10/11/2016 05:23:36 am

My first time experiencing dissonance was when I was 6 and I saw my 15 year old brother get into a fight with my parents for the first time. He is usually very calm and laid back so it was confusing to see him so angry.

katie wilson

10/11/2016 05:23:51 am

The first time i remember experiencing dissonance was when I was a kid my dad and my grandpa started to fight and thus I saw a very tense and distant side of my dad that i wasn't used to. Now I understand why they fraught and still do not talk, even the topic of my grandfather makes my dad uncomfortable and almost shut down and the conversation grinds to a stop in a matter of seconds.

Rachael Knieser

10/11/2016 05:24:13 am

As I was growing up my parents were trying to find tutoring or some sort of help for my brother because he was struggling in school due to his learning disability. One night I guess they got fed up with each other because the started yelling, they usually work very well together when they are trying to get something done so this was definitely a new side of their relationship. Although they figured out how to work it out in the end it was very different to see them fight like that.

Celeste

10/11/2016 05:24:14 am

My dad is a very relaxed, easygoing person. He is usually the peacekeeper in my house. I remember one specific time when I was in about 3rd grade when I had to clean the bathroom. I kept getting distracted and avoiding the chore. I remember my dad knocking on the door to my room. He came in, and he looked furious at my continued antics. He didn't yell, exactly, but his voice was raised and I could easily hear the irritation and anger in his voice. It stopped me in my tracks, and I quickly completed my chores. He has never been that upset with me since, which I am grateful for, but I still remember the experience vividly.

Evan Hamby

10/11/2016 05:24:29 am

The first true experience of dissonance was when I was in eighth grade. My grandma(maternal) and my mother had been in this ongoing fight for about a year and it was getting progressively worse. I had had little to no contact with my Grandma who I was very close with before they started this fight. My mom wanted to make sure I still had the oppertuniry to keep that relationship regardless of her feelings towards my Grandma. She invited her over to talk with my siblings and me about our feelings on this and what not. Instead of this being a peaceful and helpful discussion she came in and immediately my mom and her began yelling at eachother. I went downstairs after about 15 minutes and decided to try to say something, and my Grandma immediately began yelling and talking to me in a way I had never heard from her before. Things just got worse after I came downstairs and it ended with her leaving in tears and the relationship severed. My family and I did not have contact with her for 2 years after that. I still have made the decision to keep her at a distance in my life. This was an example of dissonance because it put a permanent disconnect between my Grandma and me.

Maddie Kennedy link

10/11/2016 05:25:27 am

I am having a hard time thinking of something probably because I'm thinking about this too much. For now heres what I got. When I was nine my family went to Arizona to visit my grandparents and at the time my parents were still married. I found out my dad wasn't going on the trip because he had to stay for work but it just kind of shocked me because I am so close with my dad and I just didn't understand why he wasn't going I thought it would be fun for the whole family. I knew he wasn't a big fan of going out to Arizona but it still shocked me.

Olivia Carrier

10/11/2016 05:25:54 am

My earliest memory of seeing one of my parents get angry for the first time was when I was four. My mom wasn't home and my dad was outside doing yard work. It was just my brother and I inside, but I wanted to go to a friend's house who lived a quarter of a mile away. My dad said that he didn't want my brother and I to walk alone to my friend's house, and he was too busy to take us. Because I was stubborn and wanted to see my friend, I made my brother walk me to my friend's house anyway. When we got to her house, no one answered the door so my brother and I walked home. On the way back to my house, I see that my dad was walking towards us. I remember running up to say hi and give him a hug and he began to yell at me and my brother. He was angry we left the house when he told us not to, and he was concerned that something happened to us. I know now that he was just worried for our safety and I disobeyed, but in that moment I was shocked at how my dad was angry at me since I saw him as such a nice man.

Erikka Ededuwa

10/11/2016 05:27:03 am

My older sister and I had our parent's car one day to drive home after school and I offered my friend, who lives not but 1 minutes away in our neighborhood, a ride home so she didn't have to ride the bus. And when I called my sister after school to tell her she lost it, She hung up on me and when I got to the car...😁 She drove like a madman, I had never been so terrified and I would look over at my friend and she was grabbing on the seat for dear life, and when we dropped her off my friend's dad saw my sister drive off and to this day he will not let my sister drive her anywhere. I had never seen my sister get so angry so fast, all because she had plans with her boyfriend to eat together after school... Just at Steak and Shake

Madi Relue

10/11/2016 05:27:08 am

My first impactful encounter with dissonance was when I was around the age of seven. All of the family on my Dad's side goes to Hamilton lake for the summer because my Grandpa had a place there before he died and the tradition just sort of stuck. One summer all of the children started to notice a difference in the adults and no one would seem to tell us what was going on until one day I saw my Uncle Buzz crying by the beach talking to my Dad and other Uncle. This was extremely confusing to me because my Uncle had always been the happiest and funniest person I knew. I asked my Mom what was going on and she said that my Uncle was getting a divorce. At that age that was still a somewhat new concept to me and I just could come to realize why it was that my Uncle and Aunt were upset and distant, but it is clear now as I realized later on in life that there was an affair.

Kwaylin Alexander

10/11/2016 05:27:26 am

I'd have to say my first impactful memory of dissonance would be some of my childhood memories with my father. I never lived with my father, but occasionally I would visit him either during the summer or holidays. When I would visit I'd never actually stay with him either, my aunt would take care of me the whole time while I was there. Anytime I would see my dad i could realize there was a problem with him, he was always drunk. He'd hang around his friends drinking throughout day and night. If i were to be around him he was a major jerk and treated me like crap, He'd tell me things like, I'm not important, I don't matter, or that I would never be anything in life. Much more unpleasant memories.

It was such an impact, because I still cared about him then, even if the times I were to be around him weren't the greatest. Currently, now he's actually been doing better and doesn't drink so in a way things are recovering.

Kennedi Barnett

10/11/2016 06:31:42 am

My first time I remember experiencing dissonance was when I was about in the 2nd grade (I think) and I witnessed my teacher hit this kid in my class. At the time I didn't really have an opinion, I was too young to understand how serious it was. But, as time went on and all the chaos dealing with this teacher unrolled I started to understand how intense the situation was. I don't think I will ever forget that moment.

Bryson link

1/13/2021 05:56:29 pm

God bless

Dissonance

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